As parents all we want is for our kids to have “Good Self Esteem” but the mistake that a lot of parents make is that they think they can provide their kids with it. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Good self esteem is something a child finds/earns all on his own. And it’s the whole process of what the child goes through in order to gain that positive self esteem that is so crucial. It’s not something us parents can give or purchase for our kids, (as much as we wish we could).

Sad thing is there are millions of parents out there that just don’t get that and when everything they’ve done and/or doled out good money for doesn’t boost their child’s esteem in the least, they feel as though they’ve failed. And worse even, the kid will turn around and accuse them of letting them down and not being there for them.

The best we can do is be their coach, cheerleader and biggest fan, but they are the one’s that have to figure out what it is they excell in, what it is that they do that makes them shine the brightest. Once they figure that out, our children have to be the one’s who fuel the passion and drive to be the success that we have such high hopes for. This means falling witness to them failing, not being chosen, not getting the award or trophy and not being celebrated for EVERYTHING we push them towards or sign them up to be a part of.

When our kids search things out on their own and acheive their own successes which are born from efforts all their own - good self esteem is born.

God forbid the child finds a way to boost his or her self esteem by way of negative behavior and bad choices. If our child discovers a way to shine the brightest by way of being popular among his or her peers by being the one who can guzzle the most beer, offer up the strongest pot or always has a full supply of cigarettes to pass around, then you have a BIG problem on your hands and it doesn’t matter how much time or money you spend in an attempt to boost your child’s esteem in other, more positive arenas, if he or she has alreandy found a way to shine within their circle of peers, it’s a done deal.

~ShayeDK

Dedicated to every mother who feels the pain of their children when they suffer with feelings of not being …good enough.

In 2006, the song ‘Chasing Cars’ by Snow Patrol was very popular. It was a song I couldn’t listen to because the oldest of my five children, my son, Douglas, took his life on November 10, 2006. He was 27 and without any warning he stayed home from work on a Friday afternoon and hung himself. Needless to say, it devastated his four siblings, me, his step-dad and everyone else that knew and loved him.

It wasn’t until the next year I could listen to ‘Chasing Cars’ and here it is five years later and there are still some days I can’t listen to it. Most times I can and it has become my theme song in regard to being a mother and a grandmother. My son wasn’t married and had no children at the time of his death but three of my children do, (I have 3 grandchildren).

This blog isn’t devoted to my son’s death as much as it is about all my children and also my own mother who died suddenly just five months before my son died. 2006 was a tough year.

The mother I was up to the moment my son took his life died along with him. I’m not the same person I was then and never will be again. A mother’s journey after the loss of a child is one of incredible pain and sorrow but also one of discovery.

And that’s what this blog is devoted to - exploring and sharing my experience chasing cars and watching my children burst into life and in my son’s case, his death.